How We Personalized Our Wedding + Unique Wedding Ideas | Getting Hitched
Photos by Cast + Forge Photography
Now that all the vendors have been announced and the big day has passed, we are now able to share how we personalized our wedding to both document for ourselves and hopefully inspire others to think outside the box and do the same with some unique wedding ideas! These big days celebrate unique love stories, and what better way to do so than infuse parts of each partner and loved ones into the event!?
How We Personalized Our Wedding
+ Unique Wedding Ideas
REHEARSAL DINNER (night before)
1). Delicious Mexican catering and strung papel picado from México. Kathryn’s mom had recently returned from a trip to México and brought back papel picado (a traditional Mexican decorative craft made by creating elaborate designs with sheets of tissue paper, often used during Day of the Dead along with weddings, baptisms, etc.) which we strung as decoration to pair with our yummy Mexican build-your-own-taco bar. Kathryn was really excited to incorporate parts of her heritage this way.
2). Custom playlist. Just like the big day, we curated a 3 hour-long playlist for the rehearsal evening pulling from our favorite artists and the hits that were big when we began dating and throughout our relationship. We also included some more heartfelt songs that reminded us of loved ones who had passed on and couldn’t share the weekend with us.
3). Sweet little slideshow. We were super lucky to have a projector hookup in our event space so we prepared a looping slideshow of our proposal and engagement photos, along with everyday photos of us throughout the decade. This ran throughout the night.
4). Photo backdrop with custom props. Kathryn DIY’d her photo booth props for her Bachelorette but opted to hire a genius designer on Etsy for much higher quality props for the rehearsal dinner. This designer even made adorable illustrated versions of our faces (see above)! These were all on nice dowel rods and customized to what we had in mind. This was a super interactive part of the night and kept people busy with their phones during mingling time.
5). Photo memories. We added a unique element to each dinner table by creating 5x7 sized frames with photos of young Jared & Kathryn in past years side by side (counting in increments of five - 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2015). Early on Kathryn had pinned this idea on her Pinterest board for her someday wedding and was so glad she was able to incorporate it into the weekend somehow. There were so many fabulous childhood photos that we really wanted to share, so we also made a table into a “Bride & Groom Throughout the Years” photo table for browsing.
6). Parent gifts. You aren’t obligated to get a specific $ value gift for your parents, but it is considered customary to give them something for their emotional, physical, and/or financial contributions to your big day. We decided to gift Jared’s mom with a gourmet monthly tea delivery service and a matching “The Perfect Brew” mug with our names and wedding date on it. For Kathryn’s parents, they had just redone their landscaping so we got them a custom designed, hand painted stepping stone from an Etsy artist with our names and wedding date, also featuring lilacs which grow every year in her childhood backyard.
CEREMONY
1). One-of-a-kind officiant. Instead of hiring a professional officiant or going the religious route, we decided to ask our dear friend Jenni to marry us. Jenni is also a copywriter so she was able to help us write our vows and customize a special order of service that was 100% tailored just to us - we don’t take this for granted one bit and highly recommend going the friend route if it’s available to you!
2). Absence of a bridal party. We intentionally chose NOT to participate in the traditional bridal party arrangement (bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.) for many reasons and don’t regret it. We did have our niece and nephew as flower girl and ring bearer, but otherwise it was just us, and Jared walked down the aisle with his mom / Kathryn with both of her parents in another twist on tradition. (Later on, we also did not have a bouquet or garter toss).
3). Free-for-all seating. We ditched the exhausted “bride’s side” / “groom’s side” tradition for a far more welcoming and inclusive seating arrangement. We directed our guests to pick a seat with a sign that read: “Pick a seat, not a side. You are loved by both the groom and bride.” This is a great way to blend your families and friends, and cut out any awkward vibes early on!
4). Sentimental aisle. For the aisle, we chose Paul McCartney’s cover of “Always” for the initial processional (groom, ring bearer, and flower girl), then switched to an instrumental cover of Coldplay’s “Everglow” for the bride - an otherwise pretty sad song, so we opted to use it as a melody without any lyrics. The alternate music video for “Everglow” is understood to have been inspired by one of Kathryn’s greatest sources of inspiration - Gordeeva & Grinkov, a Russian figure skating pair whose love story swept the world in the 90’s after Grinkov unexpectedly passed. Kathryn has a great deal of admiration for this duo’s love story and the wife’s resilience through early loss, and we thought the instrumental version of this song was absolutely beautiful for a processional. For our recessional, we did Macklemore’s “1984” which is already a fantastic wedding song but holds significance as Macklemore was the first concert we ever went to together and one of the first artists we bonded over.
5). Original people’s acknowledgement. We always knew we wanted to honor the local Indigenous community and do a land acknowledgement of some sort, but the more we researched with our officiant, the more we realized the real approach we needed to take. Instead of a “land acknowledgement”, we did an original people’s acknowledgement which offers more clarity and a specific call to action for reparations. We then picked a local, tribal-run museum cause and had our designer create signs with Jared’s Venmo QR code inviting our guests to donate. When you’re hosting any kind of event on stolen land, an original people’s acknowledgement is key.
6). Live performance and reading. For our “readings” portion of the ceremony, our friend Mandy sang a gorgeous take on Sleeping at Last’s acoustic cover of Scottish band The Proclaimers’ “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” as a tribute to Kathryn’s grandparents’ inspiring love and her Scottish immigrant grandmother. Then, our sister-in-law Christine gave a heartfelt reading of two German love/wedding-related poems to honor Jared’s German family.
7). A nod to his roots. We wanted to make the ceremony even more unique and engaging with a nod to Jared’s African roots. Avoiding sensitive and symbolic Black wedding traditions like the jumping of the broom, we decided that a Tasting of the Four Elements would be a special way to pay tribute to his heritage without appropriating culture and lived experience. A Tasting of the Four Elements includes the couple tasting something bitter, sour, hot, and sweet, meant to illustrate each stage of a marriage, similar to “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health”.
8). A wise send-off. Before we hopped into our individual vows, we requested that Jenni share some wisdom from her own happy marriage to husband Brian that we have always admired. She shared a beautiful, relatable story filled with important lessons and we couldn’t have been more glad that we asked her to do so.
9). Group vow. When we came across this concept, we fell in love! A group vow encourages your guests to recommit their love and support to your relationship and is a unique way to add an interactive element to the overall ceremony. This provided us an opportunity to look out at our sea of loved ones and truly take in the moment.
Ours read:
“Two people in love do not live in isolation. Their love is a source of strength: they nourish not only each other but also the world around them. As their community of friends and family, we have a responsibility to Kathryn and Jared. Through our steadfast care, respect, and love, we vow to support their marriage and the new family they are creating today.
Will you surround Kathryn and Jared with love, offer them your friendship, and support them in their marriage? If so, please answer, “We will.”
MUSIC
1). Song significance. Music was the element we could really customize the most. It was very important to us that each song from the wedding playlist held significance and sentimental value in both our individual lives & childhoods, and in our love story together featuring artists we’ve bonded over. We did end up hiring a DJ, so we encouraged him to add in other hits and transition the songs as much as he saw fit, but he made sure to incorporate most of the songs we requested. If you’re on the fence about hiring a DJ because you don’t want impersonal music, trust me: They WANT a playlist and will completely understand more specific requests!
2). Historical infusion. We also infused our various identities and their histories by prioritizing Latinx, Black, and queer artists’ songs (as well as hiring vendors with these identities). Music is a wonderful way to showcase the history of the couple’s relationship as well as their combined heritage.
3). Separate playlists for reception and the dance floor. MoTown, Studio 54, contemporary icons such as Greener alum Macklemore and Grey’s Anatomy’s Sleeping at Last, modern country from Kacey, Trixie, and Orville / classic country from various legends, and of course our favorite rock ‘n roll and Latin Gods & Goddesses - we packed it all into both playlists of goodness! We appreciated not having the challenge of balancing Etta James’ “The Man I Love” with Rick James’ “Super Freak”, so we deliberately arranged a more soft, relaxed playlist for the arrival/cocktail hour/reception and dance-worthy classics for the open dance floor. This one is pretty standard!
4). Live first dance. We are in awe of how dedicated our amazing friends were in completing our request - they went above and beyond with it! Olivia (Kathryn considers her a big sister - they met co-founding a local women’s networking group years ago) and husband Andy were the live musical accompaniment for our first dance, performing a stripped cover of Elvis’ “Can’t Help Falling in Love” - with a mix of English and Spanish lyrics as a nod to Kathryn’s Mexican roots. We felt like the lyrics were absolutely perfect for our love story and were honored to have our friends be such a special part of our big day.
5). Significant formal dance picks. We know this isn’t unique to our wedding, but for our father/daughter & mother/son dances we each chose songs from artists we have fond memories of growing up, that our parent loved and introduced us to, and that just made the moment much more of a special memory! Kathryn and Dave chose a slow dance to Jimmy Buffet’s “Come Monday” and Jared and Angela opted to crank things up a notch with Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough”! Both dances offered something different for the crowd watching and putting Jared and Angela last allowed for a smooth transition to open dancing.
6). Second entrance onto the dance floor. After we completed our formal dances, we rushed upstairs for an outfit change, then rejoined the dance floor in a second entrance into the event (the first being into reception/dinner). Our DJ tirelessly worked with us to find Flo Rida’s “Jump” (except, the Ichiro Suzuki version that’s only available in Japan!) and created a custom track to ensure we had the Seattle Mariners moment everyone deserved! We’ve been M’s fans our whole lives and most recently celebrated our wedding year as Season Ticket Members, so it felt very fitting.
7). Group last dance. Prior to the two of us taking center stage for one last slow dance post-upbeat open dancing, we invited our guests to join us for one final slow dance to Jim Malcolm’s “Auld Lang Syne” - another ode to Kathryn’s Scottish adopted relatives. We didn’t have a formal exit with sparklers or a rice toss, so being able to invite everyone to join in a final collective moment and then ask them to leave the dance floor for our bride & groom last dance was the perfect way to signal the event’s end without the need for a grand production. This was also naturally a very emotional moment picking a well-known track that was likely meaningful to a lot of guests for different reasons.
FLORALS
1). Flower crown tradition. Kathryn’s mom had a flower crown on her parents’ wedding day and Kathryn always knew she would be continuing the tradition! She wanted to wear her hair down and this was the perfect way. We did an outfit and hair change for our second entrance to feature this special element. The crown had strands of ribbon down the back just like Kathryn’s mom’s wedding crown, but differed in the fact that it was a more full statement crown to compliment the boho dress style.
2). A touch of Nanny’s pearls. In the spirit of continuing traditions, Kathryn’s bridal bouquet was wrapped with a string of pearls that belonged to her Scottish grandmother and were worn by her mom on her wedding day.
DECOR
1). Memory gallery wall. Jared was adamant about honoring our loved ones who had previously passed on, but we didn’t want to waste real estate at the ceremony by blocking off prime chairs, so instead we took our designer’s lead and collaborated to create a gallery wall that hung above the couch in the lounge area. We paired relatives’ wedding photos and solo portraits with prints of lyrics and quotes that remind us of them. This is a cost-effective way to add more elaborate decor and touch the hearts of guests!
2). Fun guestbook table. In addition to our traditional guestbook, our designer set up a series of wooden boxes labeled “5 Years, 10 Years, 20 Years” encouraging guests to leave some advice for the couple to read on each anniversary - our 5th, 10th, and 20th. This approach allowed for guests of all ages and marriage lengths to leave us something special that we can cherish. On the guestbook table, we also featured some items from Kathryn’s parents’ recent trip to Scotland - a special brass bell that was virtually a duplication of her grandmother’s old bell, and a thistle table runner.
3). Handcrafted design elements. Our incredible designer Cassy pulled off the most stunning event design featuring items she made with both her mind and her own two hands - not only graphic design, but wooden + pleather signage, wood turned candle sticks and doughnut holders, the list goes on! The opportunity to have a local artist’s work featured quickly became a favorite event element for us.
4). Sweetheart table during reception. The one concept we really didn’t want to have to scrap was the dedicated sweetheart table during dinner. Our reception floor plan was designed for us to be able to look out into a sea of faces and take in the evening, and allow for some intimate conversation between just us. We worked with our designer and florist to make this table stand out from the rest with our event emblem and a suspended greenery installation. It’s as good as a first look - just do it!!
RECEPTION
1). Plated custom "Love Notes” for every guest. The second we heard this idea, we were SOLD (well, at least Kathryn was as the TOTAL SAP she clearly is - Jared hopped on board shortly after)! Our designer made a beautiful, simple note card featuring our event’s emblem design with room for us to write a personalized, custom “love note” to each guest that would also serve purpose as their place setting and keepsake takeaway from the night (forgoing the all too common goodie bags that aren’t as unique and/or are likely to get thrown away). While this did take A LOT of time on our end, it was the hit of the night and totally worth it.
2). Assorted dessert table - not just cake! We adore our baker/dessert designer and we decided we had to have ALL of her specialties! She is beloved in our city for not only her cakes but her cinnamon sweet buns and spiced cider doughnuts. We picked a decadent chocolate cookie butter buttercream cake along with these treats. It’s true what they say: Having just cake is a thing of the past and we liked incorporating these other autumnal, cozy vibe desserts. Our event designer also curated a very unique mix & match, layered dessert table display that stood out nicely.
3). The Scottish quaich hand-off. During their last trip to Scotland, Kathryn’s parents picked up an authentic Scottish quaich, considered a “cup of friendship” and used in events of celebration such as weddings. The quaich is a traditional two handled cup, and during a typical quaich ceremony you each take a handle to take a drink, showing that you trust one another to share the cup. Since we’re still very much in COVID times, we didn’t do this type of formal ceremony with it, but Kathryn’s mom presented the quaich to Jared’s mom during speeches/toasts as a symbol of families joining together.
EXTRAS
1). Something old, new, borrowed, and blue (under Kathryn’s nail!). In addition to performing her usual fabulous art on Kathryn’s nail set for the weekend, amazing nail tech and close friend Tatiana offered the most unexpected gift. She added a blue jade Swarovski on the underside of Kathryn’s left ring fingernail. It’s something both “old” and “new” since it’s an authentic jade - a stone that has been refined into a jewel, it’s something “borrowed” because Kathryn was surprised by this gracious gift (although Tatiana won’t be asking for it back!), and something “blue” since it’s a blue jade!
2). Glam hand-me-down. After reading a social media post of Kathryn’s, an old classmate and previous colleague reached out and offered her “getting ready robe” - it had only been worn once, was a custom order from an Etsy designer, and was simply sitting around collecting dust. Kathryn was honored to have something borrowed with this thoughtful gift.
3). A pocket watch keepsake. Jared incorporated his something old + borrowed with a pocket watch that has traveled throughout generations in his family, most recently owned by his Oma (grandmother) on his mother’s side. He set the pocket watch to 3 o’clock (our ceremony time) and kept it on him throughout the day.
4). Momma’s bracelets. Kathryn’s birth mother sadly could not make the wedding due to some pretty tough surgeries she had been dealing with this fall, but she was sure to send Kathryn a couple of her bracelets - one that is a champagne gold shade and another that is a burgundy gold. Kathryn decided to wear them on her left wrist as a sort of “blessing” to the marriage, and her two oldest friends each fastened one to her wrist. This was such a sweet touch to have for the bridal glam!
5). Custom handkerchief for the officiant. We decided to gift our copywriter friend Jenni with a custom embroidered handkerchief as part of her officiant gift, along with a basket of goodies. The handkerchief read: “You have a way with words” alongside our wedding date. Little thoughtful, sentimental gifts like this are simple and affordable but impactful. We had so much fun curating gifts for everyone involved in the wedding festivities.
We are truly feeling so filled with love and gratitude, and are so honored that our friends and family + vendor team came together to curate such a meaningful event that truly showcased and spoke to who we are together and as individuals. We had no idea how much went into intentional event design and just how special you can make your big day - you don’t need to listen to traditions, you can start your own and they don’t have to be expensive either! We hope this post generated more excitement for your own wedding and inspired you to think outside of the box and do what is uniquely YOU, not just what’s trendy. :)
About the Couple
We’re Jared and Kathryn - Olympia, Washington natives that have dated since April 2013 (a whole decade in, baby!) and have lived together a majority of those years as well. Jared is launching into his career in IT, and Kathryn is the owner of a freelance content marketing agency serving clients across the country. Together we’re tech nerds, Pacific Northwest travelers, the ultimate foodies, and drag show lovers. We’re so excited to share our wedding journey with you + hope to provide some insight that helps you along the way!
